Have all of me, always.

Give all of yourself to me, 24/7. Commit most hours of your day to tending to me. Promise to continually check on me, even if you know there is nothing I need. Make me your priority, even while your doing other things. Don’t take your eyes off me, especially not to talk to your children, cross the road or have a coffee with a friend. Always eat with me, sleep with me and make sure I go everywhere else with you. Listen to me while driving, walking, exercising and working. Never loose me, never share me, never forget me, never ever break me. Because if you do, it will break you.

You own be but you know I really own you. Much love YOUR PHONE x

Stress release and reset exercise. 10 Minutes

We known when we are stressed because we can feel it in the body. It starts as discomfort and then it builds from there.

There are two ways to diffuse stress in the moment.

1. Release it out the body

2. Reset, to avoid stress build up

Releasing stress in the body, requires us to relax. To calm the mind and let the body get to work healing.

The below exercise is a stress release and reset exercise. When you are feeling stressed or have experienced high stress, this helps to reset the biology.

The exercise is simple.

Deep breath in, tense, hold and release.

The exercise is 10 minutes but this exercise once you know how to use it is perfect for quick resets after high intensity experiences when you just need to “Shake it off” and move forward.

I regularly use this exercise after a long call, difficult conversations or before I pick my kids up.

The more use use this exercise, the greater the benefits. The longer you spend doing this exercise, the greater the benefits too.

Enjoy x

Meditating with my kids

Both my kids have learnt how to incorporate a form of quiet, calm or meditation time into their daily routines.

It originally came from my desperation to find a few minutes to myself. To reset during the crazy full paced days of surviving parenting. 🙏

While never perfect, it's a skill our family intends to continue and nurture.

Here are 7 tips from our mediation journey so far.

1. Guided meditations for kids are easily available and a fantastic intro or daily exercise. Fab before bedtime. I recommend Horizon Meditations.

2. Talk with your kids about the process. Discuss the benefits and let them own the process. My kids this week have introduced sleeping bags on the floor with books during their "quiet time". Their approach has unlocked 30mins of meditation time daily for me and I’ve noticed they appear more emotionally stable as the afternoon unfolds. ⭐🙏

3. Start small and make it super easy to do. Just a couple of minutes is plenty to begin with. We started with 1 minute meditations, sitting together counting fingers and taking deep breathes in a playful way. Then we started involving yoga poses and breathing to allow more movement and playfulness.

4. Variety is helpful. Always changing the process keeps them interested and positive. It becomes obvious when they have reached the end of something. Getting creative and doing some research is well worth it.

5. Role model. Showing that you take the time to meditate, relax or rest , shows them what it looks like and teaches them to respect not only your space but their space too. My son now requests "quiet time" and they often help me prepare for my meditation by getting the eye mask and matt out.

6. Use tangible things to make a ceremony or special occasion for the activity e.g. candles (keep high and safe). I used to let my son blow them out when finished. Eye masks, yoga Matt's, books, coloring all have worked too.

7. Accept it won't always work. Having this view means you are never disappointing. Some days I get time on my own, others, I get to do something with my kids that is calming. Win Win.

Meditation is now a daily ritual in our home. I don’t pretend its perfect or that is happens all the time. However the intention for the ritual is one we enjoy and look forward to when we do make it happen.

I highly recommend a daily meditation practice no matter how small for all parents and children.

x

Step by Step

We all have the power and access to resilience.

It is in our ability to ask one simple question, over and over again as we navigate our lives.

Is this hurting or helping me?

If it hurts. Stop.

If it helps. Continue and do more.

Lucy Hone who is a resilience expert gave a moving TED Talk talk on this.

Regarded as an expect for all her years of studying resilience, she quickly discovered the power of simplicity in her own experience after losing her 12 year old daughter, good friend and her daughter in a car accident.

She discovered her road to recover was down to herself and how when she asked simple yet powerful questions she could take proactive and empowering steps forward.

We don’t necessarily choose to use resilience as a tool to navigate challenges. It is more of an approach to life in which we are resilient.

Resilience is one simple question

We all have the power and access to resilience.

It is in our ability to ask one simple question, over and over again as we navigate our lives.

Is this hurting or helping me?

If it hurts. Stop.

If it helps. Continue and do more.

Lucy Hone who is a resilience expert gave a moving TED Talk talk on this.

Regarded as an expect for all her years of studying resilience, she quickly discovered the power of simplicity in her own experience after losing her 12 year old daughter, good friend and her daughter in a car accident.

She discovered her road to recover was down to herself and how when she asked simple yet powerful questions she could take proactive and empowering steps forward.

We don’t necessarily choose to use resilience as a tool to navigate challenges. It is more of an approach to life in which we are resilient.

Respectful Focus

Productivity is about finding ways to do the things you want to do and love to do in your life.

It is about prioritising what feels good, eliminating what does not and scheduling everything else in a way that ensures you feel fulfilled.

One of the biggest challenges with achieving what you want to do in life is managing those around you and their expectations. These being, you should always be on, available and responding whenever they want you.

Manage expectations with positive language

It is possible to be respectful with others while you seek to focus and achieve the things you want to do.

These statements can be positively incorporated into your everyday language to help others understand your intentions for focus.

• I choose to be present in the moment, so I can serve you better

• When I am available, you can be assured you will have my full attention with no distractions.

• I am human. I stay safe by being easily distracted which is why choose to limit this as best I can

• I value our health, I seek to do as much as we can within reason without seeking to cause stress, burn out or anxiety

• I wish to get the most out of our time together I will be practical and proactive

• My intention is high quality work. Only always.

• I will seek to be curious and creative as best I can by fully immersing myself into the process

Digging a little deeper

Who is in charge of your life? You or others?

Is your phone on? Can you hear your notifications and how many apps on your phone can notify you of updates at any given time?

It may seem harmless but our mobile phones are a very good reflection of how much of our lives, we allow ourselves to be led by others.

As human beings biologically designed to stay safe. To fight, flight or freeze according to the latest updates in our experiences. It is only natural that sounds like the dinging of our mobile phones get our full attention even if we don’t mean them to. If it was true danger, we want to know about it. Although most of the time it is not.

Our digital lives pose a real threat to our ability to focus and our productivity. It is a challenge because in many ways it makes us more productive but there is now an expectation of others that we are available 24/7 should they need us. An expectation that can leave us feeling pulled in multiple directions, seeking to please everyone and feeling as through we can never do enough.

Productivity comes with focus

As we reflect. Multitasking today is a false promise. Trying to make everyone happy, has the potential to make no one happy.

The more we can prioritise, reflect and iterate. the better we will get at managing what we want in our lives, while navigating the demands of others in ways that genuinely fulfill us.

Saying No with love

My mother-in-law said it perfectly.

“I do not have the time to do the things I want to do, let alone do the things others want me to do”.

This process is one of integrity and honesty.

In our “busy” lives how much of what we do is done because culture and society says we should. Versus us doing things because they make us feel great?

How much time goes into managing processes and systems we feel obligated to do? Attending social engagements or taking on extra work?

All to often, we think it is easier for us to say yes than to say no. We think if we say No, we will upset someone or not be valued but who’s lives are we really limiting by trying to do everything for everyone?

What if, we only said yes if it was a 100% YES!

YES to learning a new skill, spending time with your family, switching your phone off or reading a book.

How do I know it is a yes or no?

You feel it instantly.

If it is a 100% yes, you instantly feel excitement and joy in your entire body. You can not ignore it, it is crystal clear and it feels amazing.

If you hesitate, feel uncomfortable, anxious or anything that does not feel good. It is a No. Quickly followed by your head rationalising it as best it can to guilt you into saying yes.

Try it and see.

Note: - People you care less about will be easier to start with and say no to. The harder no’s will be with those you love deeply like friends and family.

Say No with love

Saying No with love is best done as simply as possible with little to no explanation.

Always start by acknowledging the kind offer. Recognise the opportunity and kindly decline.

“Thank you for the invitation, it sounds like it will be a wonderful experience. For me right now I am going to decline but I would love to know when it is happening next”.

or

“Thank you for the kind offer. Now is not the right time for me. I will be in touch when it is. All the best”.

Watch the Magic

When you say no, one of two things happens.

1. People instantly respect you and admire your courage to hold your space for what you value in your life.

2. People show their true colors and condemn you. Showing their own inability to say no or their lack of respect for you or themselves. This is where you can begin to question the value they offer you in your life.

Start small, it is a process

Learning to say no and to hold space for the things you want to do in your life is a process. You need to start small, find what works best for you and expand from there.

Start by observing how requests for your times feels for you.

Begin with small no’s and move up. Start by saying no to sales person in a shop or to food you know you don’t want to eat. Then move closer to home with more personal relationships.

Remember, the objective is to always have you feeling good in the end. If it does not feel good, there is more work to be done and more truth to be found. In the meantime enjoy the process of learning and growing as you move towards getting more of what you want in your life.